The Third Party: Five Things That Struck A Chord In Me As A Gay Man

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The Third Party: Five Things That Struck A Chord In Me As A Gay Man

 

I have been hearing a lot of good reviews from friends about the movie “The Third Party.” But because of the busy schedule, I have no choice but to push my longing to watch the movie for a later time. And that later time happens to be now.

 

The story revolves between exes Andi, an events manager who aspires to be a fashion designer (portrayed by Angel) and Max, a cosmetic surgeon (portrayed by Sam) who both find ways to make their relation intact after a breakup. But later on, Max found a new love unto a gay oncologist for children, Christian portrayed by Zanjoe. The film also tackles friendship and how a person gets to know more about himself. – Wikipedia

 

My sister, after Noche Buena, asked me if I already saw the said movie. After her knowing that I wasn’t able to watch the movie yet, she gave me a copy of it. And here’s my review.

 

First of all, I am not a fan of Filipino movies especially those which revolve in gay-themed or same-sex relationship plots. Based on experience, the majority of the gay-themed movies I have seen in the past are portrayed in a very sexual manner. No offense, but if you like to watch something while you jack off, those movies are really good for you. Take it from me, I did that all the time.

 

My favorite movie of all time was the “Love Of Siam.” I believe it was one of the movies that propelled Mario Maurer to stardom. I have been watching this movie since I was in college, the time that I came out and was really looking for “true love,” and it always made me cry. This is one of the few movies that I’ve seen which portrayed gay romance in a romantic–and when I say romantic, I mean a wholesome romance–level.

 

Love Of Siam is a 2007 Thai gay-themedromantic-drama film written and directed by Chookiat Sakveerakul. In this multi-layered family drama, a groundbreaking element is a gay romance between two teenage boys. – Wikipedia

 

Here’s the trailer:

 

Fast forward today, I think that “The Third Party” paralleled my need for a heartfelt gay romance fit for my age. I must admit that the depiction of a same-sex relationship was shown in a manner that is wholesome and natural. It was shown in a manner in which a rom-com of John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo can be akin to. It shows the viewers that we are also capable of having the “normal” kind of relationship just all others have. It’s not all about sex. Not all about blow jobs. Not all about money. Not all about unhappy endings.

 

Here’s the trailer:

 

But apart from the obviously well-sewn plot and justified long-denied depiction of gay relationships, there are 5 things that really caught my attention. And these 5 things best describe what and how gay relationships in the Philippines are like. At least for me.

 

Our Past Doesn’t Define Us

Promiscuity for gays is but normal–well, perhaps that’s how the media has been showing us. But from a gay man’s perspective, I wouldn’t wash my hands clean. I have been guilty of doing things behind my partner’s back. He caught me as I did catch him. Is it normal? Definitely no. I guess that all of us have this one deepest, darkest secret that we wish never to tell anyone. Unless we’re caught.

 

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This was the case which happened with Max (played by Sam Milby) and Andi (Angel Locsin) where Max kissed Andi because he’s still confused. Max is sure of his “gender fluidity” which, ironically, made him more confused about his feelings towards Andi in the absence of Christian (portrayed by Zanjoe Marudo). Such instance made it a turning point for the couples, Max and Christian, to really assess their situation as lovers.

 

In real life, we might be faced with too many temptations in the absence of our partner. We know it’s wrong but there are really instances that make us do such things. These “pasts” can either make us or break us. In the real world, loyalty is really a must. But there is nothing more worth it than accepting the wrong things that we did in the past and correct it. These must not really define who we really are as a person and as a partner.

 

Mothers Will Always Be Mothers–No Matter What

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Andi has been estranged with her mom, Carina Medina (played by Cherry Pie Picache), from the time Andi was left by her mother to her aunt. But in one of the scenes, Andi’s mom explained to her the reason why she left her. She wasn’t ready at that time to be a mother and there’s no better option but to leave her with someone who can take care of her.

 

Just like Carina, I associate the character with my mom who “accidentally” had me when she was about to graduate in college. But unlike Carina, my mom didn’t opt for an abortion. There was a time that I questioned all the inadequacies of my mom. Why wasn’t she able to give me the things that I need? Why didn’t she finish her study and pursue her license in engineering for me to be proud of her just like my classmates were with their moms? There are so many why’s. But now, I finally understood the reasons behind. And despite all that happened, mothers will always be mothers. We will understand them when we also have a lot of dreams to to pursue but at the same time we are “impregnated” with responsibilities to take.

 

Mothers Are Most Likely To Be The First Ones To Accept Their Gay Son

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Coming out from the closest is probably the hardest thing that a gay must face in his life. Not unless your next coming out is coming out from the cloak of HIV. But that’s another story.

 

When Max came out to his family that he’s gay, he wasn’t accepted by his father. But his mom consoles him telling him that he must not be sorry for who he really is. The scene is so reminiscent when I came out to my mom over the phone. Little did I know that she has been harassed three years before I personally came out by my aunt who saw my profile picture of a wholesome kiss between my BF and I on Facebook. She told me that she warned my aunt never to interfere with what we’re having as we are not doing anything wrong with our relationship. And to this date, it will always be the most memorable phone call that I had.

 

Our Sister Will Be Our Silent Armor Or Loudest Confidante

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There are only two people whom Max confided into his true sexuality: Andi and his sister, Lila (portrayed by Matet de Leon). During the confrontation with her dad, Lila told her dad that she doesn’t need to “report” that Max has been living in with Christian because he isn’t a criminal. Such simile is very normal in many Filipino perspectives towards a same-sex relationship. More often than not, it is seen as an unnatural thing to do.

 

Lila reminded of my sister who knew of my relationship with my long-time BF since I transferred here in Manila. I even blocked her on FB so that she wouldn’t find me to avoid any homophobic remarks–if in case. But it turned out that she has been quiet with what she knows when my relatives ask info about me. And by the way, she is the one who referred me to watch this movie. She probably knew that I will be able to relate to this. And I really did.

 

A New Day Is There For Another Chance To Be Better

 

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Should I even explain this? But it’s a good reminder for everyone of us, regardless of what we are and what we are going through, that there will always be a new day for us to be better and another chance to make things better.

 

Watching “The Third Party” indeed struck a chord in me that has long been not touched since I watched the “Love Of Siam.” I want to congratulate the director, Jason Paul Laxamana, and the actors who portrayed a same-sex relationship as it should be. This movie has given justice to the long been denied portrayal of same-sex relationships that the people must see in the mainstream.

 

The Third Party: Five Things That Struck A Chord In Me As A Gay Man

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Joemar Belleza

Blogger-In-Chief at Bakla Po Ako, Confirmed!
Joemar is the Blogger-In-Chief of BaklaPoAko.Com. He is currently a graduate student in University of the Philippines Open University. He also studied at Maquillage Professionnel School of Makeup Artistry and School of Fashion and the Arts (SoFA). He is a bold advocate of education, environment and LGBT issues. An earner, dreamer and a lover. Before he was once a dream-sprouting seed. Now he's a tree in his renaissance and will always be evergreen. Hear him speak with his intelligent guide for gay news of the Philippines and worldwide, Bakla Po Ako. Confirmed!.Follow him on Twitter @belleza_joemar. Gay it forward!
Joemar Belleza
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About Joemar Belleza 352 Articles
Joemar is the Blogger-In-Chief of BaklaPoAko.Com. He is currently a graduate student in University of the Philippines Open University. He also studied at Maquillage Professionnel School of Makeup Artistry and School of Fashion and the Arts (SoFA). He is a bold advocate of education, environment and LGBT issues. An earner, dreamer and a lover. Before he was once a dream-sprouting seed. Now he's a tree in his renaissance and will always be evergreen. Hear him speak with his intelligent guide for gay news of the Philippines and worldwide, Bakla Po Ako. Confirmed!. Follow him on Twitter @belleza_joemar. Gay it forward!