Single: Alone But Never Lonely

Originally posted on my FB Page.

single gay guy, bakla po ako, gay blog philippines, being single


Warning: Not a drama post. Just a long one.

For the past years, I have been so silent about my private life, specifically regarding my love life. Not unless otherwise asked. First, I chose not to have one and second, it would normally lead people to ask me about my previous one. Which, by the way, I have been so eager to talk about with so much positivity and free from hate for others to learn from.

Time and time again, I always say the same words with conviction and gusto. That you can turn your scars into stars, healing starts in forgiving people who never asked for forgiveness in the first place, and fulfillment is not finding your key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

From 18 years old to 26 years old, being with someone has always been the norm. It was all that kept me feeling secure. But 27 years old to this date (28 years and moving forward), being comfortable with your solitude is the best weapon in unlocking maturity.

It’s just so timely that in 2015, I was also in Ilocos celebrating the 3rd anniversary with the person I thought I will spend my life with. But life is all about letting go to see a butterfly rise and explore the big world. It’s true, reality bites but you can never bite back reality.

Three years after, I am in the same places where we’ve been. But now I have a renewed understanding of how life works and why loving yourself first is the best gift you can give yourself.

I may not have someone hold my hands but I hold mine as long as I can. Nobody kisses me but I kiss each day with positivity. No one assures me that I am loved but I innately know my worth, hence, the feeling of being loved without the need for validation. That’s probably how life works.

Three years after, the beauty of Calle Crisologo still transcends the test of time, Paoay Church still homes endless prayers, and the windmills never cease to caress the winds. So should we.

So to all my friends who think that being single is a lonely place to be in, let me be a good example. There is a thin line separating loneliness from being alone. Make it thick.

Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone. And solitude expresses the glory of being alone. – Paul Tillich

Joemar Belleza
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About Joemar Belleza 358 Articles
Joemar is the Blogger-In-Chief of BaklaPoAko.Com. He is currently a graduate student in University of the Philippines Open University. He also studied at Maquillage Professionnel School of Makeup Artistry and School of Fashion and the Arts (SoFA). He is a bold advocate of education, environment and LGBT issues. An earner, dreamer and a lover. Before he was once a dream-sprouting seed. Now he's a tree in his renaissance and will always be evergreen. Hear him speak with his intelligent guide for gay news of the Philippines and worldwide, Bakla Po Ako. Confirmed!. Follow him on Twitter @belleza_joemar. Gay it forward!