Sorry if it took me long to face you.
I never wanted to see you in so much pain.
I can see the pain in your eyes and through,
The rainbow which once was caused by the rain.
And the sadness behind the smiles you feign.
Behind the kind stares you gave, I saw sadness.
And the only thing I can do is to look away.
No matter how you showed resilience,
Your eyes freed emotions astray.
Which pierced my heart and whispered you’re not OK.
Behind the smile you gave, a smirk curves in.
A smirk drew into the suffering you feel.
I saw so much pain but yours I have never seen.
Seems like trapped behind a bar of steel.
And yet ready to free itself like an elusive eel.
Behind your bruised breast, I hear your heart beating.
A lullaby that once sent me to sleep.
If you can just hear my heart, it’s also mourning.
Of seeing how you suffer and silently weep.
In a journey you’re in that is so steep.
Behind the grip of your hands, I know you want to let go.
And I know it’s the easiest route to take.
It’s the fast lane to escape the pain and sorrow.
And just gamble with the life of what’s at stake.
Surrender, if you may, for you own sake.
If tomorrow you will see yet another day
I hope that you will find comfort for just a moment.
And if not, I hope that God will listen when I pray,
To give you solace in a place so silent.
And free your soul from a body of torment.
(When all the lights were turned off and the darkness of the night washed everything to oblivion inside the bus, the tears that I have been keeping for two weeks finally freed itself and I have no choice but to give them such privilege.
These were the tears longing for their release when you see the person, who helped our mom raise us when we were young, suffering from breast cancer yet holding on to what tomorrow may bring.
And the picture of her while I bid goodbye as she cries and holds my hand repeatedly paints a canvass on the frosted window. I may not and wasn’t able to say it but I appreciate and love you, Tita Arlete.
To those who are silently battling with cancer of any forms, I give you my virtual hug and inner peace that I have nourished amidst travails.
“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt)
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